Trust Your Instinct

For the first time in a long time, I genuinely thought I was going insane. It wasn’t the first time that I thought I’d eventually end up in a padded cell or solitary confinement, but somehow it felt like it’s the closest I’ve been.

(Mental note: watching almost four seasons of Oz back to back doesn’t seem to have helped matters.)

But if I have appeared to be insane, or at least mentally deranged this week, it’s because I’m angry with myself. I’m angry because I chose to go against my instinct – my gut feeling – and it backfired.
Continue reading Trust Your Instinct

Manipulative Language: “Need”

When someone tells you they need something.
When someone tells you they need you to do something.
When someone tells you that you need to do something.
When someone tells you that something needs to be done.

Some of you reading this will probably say, “do you really need to talk about this?” I rather stupidly asked about it on Yahoo! Answers once, and got a very similar answer. To those people who want to ridicule me: shut the fuck up and listen.

Basically Wayne Dyer said in one of his audiobooks that a need is something that – if you don’t have it – will immobilise you. I really began to think about my own usage of the word, and realised that I was using it when its usage was completely unnecessary. Unfortunately, I also began to notice that a lot of people throw the word around these days.

I’ve certainly had times where I felt I really “needed” something, even if the “need” turned out to be something I didn’t actually “need” – but often that one thing being missing can stop other things from happening.

You’ve probably heard people talk about how some people feel they "need" a particular thing to be happy, to be rich, or to progress to the next level. Without this thing, they feel like they can’t change. It’s like when you have a craving for lamb chops, and you can eat as much of any other kind of food as you want, but you won’t be satisfied unless you have lamb chops.

There are times when the need is genuine, like air and water (in my opinion). I’d argue that having faith in something is also a need, even if it’s having faith in not having faith.

But my beef is with people who use the word “need” as a controlling force. Those people who throw the word “need” around are only interested in manipulating others, and their general grammar is often synonymous with forcing or getting people to do something.

I’ll let you figure out for yourself why the overuse of the word “need” is a bad thing, but know that there are many other, more relevant alternatives to the word “need”: required; must; would like; want; supposed to; mandatory; essential; and so on.
I challenge you to omit the word “need” from your vocabulary for 24 hours, using any or all of the alternatives – it’s very simple and you may even feel better after it.

Just remember that you have a right to define your own “needs” for yourself; don’t let anyone define them for you.