Category: Opinion

Clichés in Women’s Profiles – Part 3: Photos

In the third and final part of my miniseries on clichés in women’s profiles, I’m going to riff a little about the types of photos women use to advertise themselves – and as you’ll find, they’re just as copy-and-post as the slogans, platitudes and unattributed quotes that make up the textual content of their profiles and ads.

But before I begin: another way women use clichés in profiles is in their choice of usernames or handles. I don’t have the time or desire to go through all of them, but one trend I’ve noticed recently is women suffixing “icious” (as in “delicious”) to their first names or random words – so you have “beckylicious”, “jennylicious”, “predictablicious” etc. My guess is that Beyonce (the whitest black woman I’ve ever seen) has something to do with it.

Anyway.

To help with my explanations of the common and clichéd photo types (and to attract more women to this post), I’ve scoured OkCupid for the last few weeks to find these examples – which actually took longer than I’d expected. (If I’d used Plenty Of Flesh I’m sure it would have taken mere minutes to find these examples and more.) Unfortunately these are only a few of the examples I wanted to talk about.

I’m not going to add any commentary this time around: I want you to look at these examples and figure out what women who use these kinds of photos are trying to say – and what they’re actually saying – about themselves. Bear in mind that women demand photos from men, that sites encourage the uploading of photos (and claim you’ll get billions more responses if you do), and that women won’t talk to anybody they don’t find attractive.

And by the way: if you’re one of the girls in these photos, or you’re otherwise offended by this post or this miniseries, I’m hoping that – instead of throwing a tantrum – it will make you think about what you’re doing.
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Clichés in Women’s Profiles – Why They Occur

Before I add the third and final part to this miniseries, I wanted to add my thoughts on why this phenomenon – of why women’s profiles tend to look and sound the same – occurs.

Someone on YouTube mentioned something very important in one of their videos, that even I hadn’t thought about before I began this miniseries: women haven’t had to advertise themselves in the same way men have, when it comes to courting/dating/sex.
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David DeAngelo gets married

I heard yesterday morning, through Richard La Ruina’s Facebook post, that David DeAngelo – probably the Internet’s most well known “seduction guru”, and certainly the guy who made PUA a household acronym, through his book Double Your Dating – has gotten married. I’m not going to link to anything, as there are plenty of views and articles on the Net about it if you do a search.

To be honest, whatever you think of the woman he’s married to, I had very mixed feelings about the news.

For one, I’ve been listening to Tom Leykis shows for the last few weeks, and he constantly advised his male listeners not to get married or even engage in a relationship with women. From that viewpoint, I hope David (real name Eben) knows what he’s doing, and the best of luck to him.

On the other hand, being one of these “nice guys” that David, other PUAs, so-called alpha males and the women they side with like(d) to bash, there’s a level of resentment mixed with apathy. I don’t know about you, but for me it’s very hard to be happy for someone who, quite frankly, made things more difficult for me than they already were. I got that impression from trying to digest his written work, and not from him as a person (who came across very differently in his videos).

It’s not for me to call him a bad person, berate him for getting married, or even claim that he doesn’t “deserve” to be married. If you believe the many testimonials on the web, David’s done a lot of good for many people, and he’s very popular – so by that measure maybe he isn’t a bad person, and maybe he does deserve to be in a happy marriage.

I should add that, partly because of my lack of success with and bitterness towards women, I really am averse to hearing about engagements and marriages – and especially kids. Don’t talk to me about relationships, engagements, marriages or babies on the way. Especially don’t ask me to attend a wedding, even as a photographer – I ain’t frickin’ going.

Anyway, just thought I’d add my cynical two cents (for the search engines).

What It Means To Be Confident

I wrote a post on DREWspective a long time ago, simply entitled “Confidence”. It was one of my proudest posts, but unfortunately during my annual pruning it got deleted – so for the benefit of you guys I’m going to do a rewrite.

“Confidence”, along with “positive”, “self-esteem”, “outgoing”, “bubbly”, “sexy” and many more terms you can name, is one of the most popular modern buzzwords. Whether it’s women telling people they find “confidence” attractive, or general advice from people out of nowhere telling you to “be more confident”, just about everybody has something to say about confidence.

Including me.
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