DREWspective

Easter Sunday is upon us. For most people, it’s an excuse to eat lots of chocolate and rich foods, while the kids are instructed by people in fancy dress to run around and find eggs. For the religious, it’s symbolic of Jesus’ resurrection after being crucified and left in a tomb. And for a select few, it’s a “normal” working day.

While I don’t subscribe to Christianity, I had briefly thought about the idea of rebirth, or perhaps reinvention. In my own case, I was aiming for a career in animation, before my third dose of the proverbial red pill (my 21st) led to my “rebirth” as a web developer. I’ve since experienced other “rebirths”, such as becoming an AFOL (Adult Fan of LEGO) and a MGTOW (Man Going Their Own Way).

It makes more sense to me to evaluate and re-evaluate one’s self at Easter, rather than New Year’s Eve (which hardly anyone takes seriously anyway), especially since it’s customary to give something up for about six weeks. Guy Finley once suggested that giving something up was necessary to gain something, and it seems to be true.

Last night some bad news rocked part of the AFOL community: Heather Braaten, a popular and talented American AFOL, was found dead after being reported missing.

While I’m not overjoyed by news of anyone’s death (except for one person in the entire world), I had no personal connection with her, and I had no idea who she was, so to offer anything other than RIP statements would be hypocritical. I’m not one of those people who cries for the cameras, like when Steve Jobs passed, nor am I someone who make dedications for people I don’t know anything about. (Not suggesting that anyone who grieved for Heather is, but they know who they are.)

The narcissist in me started to come out when I saw the reactions of many other AFOLs – many of whom I’m sure knew as much about Heather as I did – as well as the coverage given by many LEGO-related sites. I couldn’t help thinking that such a big fuss wouldn’t have been made over less popular (and it could be argued, less attractive) AFOLs, including me. Maybe the fact she was female played a huge part.
But more seriously: it got me thinking about what would happen if something were to happen to me.

I’ve only been an AFOL for two years now, and I’m a hell of a long way from being a nnenn (another AFOL who passed away a while ago). But unfortunately I’d suspect the same thing would happen as in any other arena: absolutely nothing.
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When I was younger, like most people I wanted to become rich and famous. But instead of doing something ordinary like singing or acting, in my case I would become a world-famous animator and possibly movie maker, who got to travel the world and walk on red carpets with the stars, do interviews where I talked about all those people who’d wronged me in the past, and spend most of my time in my luxurious home with a girl who could suck like Dyson. (Okay, I made that last bit up.)
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I left out a couple of important points in last night’s post, The Valentine’s Day Lecturing.

The first point: when someone starts giving unwarranted relationship tips, or advice on how to attract women (or men), it’s purely out of self-indulgence – although they’ll justify themselves by saying

I’m only trying to help

They’re actually only interested in making themselves feel superior to someone else (in this case, single people) and making themselves feel better, especially if it means making someone else feel inferior and worse. Bear in mind that they don’t care whether that person is happy or content with being single, or if they’re completely frustrated about being lied to all the time by women – the sole purpose of the self-indulgent lecture is to make this person feel inadequate. I’d even go as far as saying that such lectures are premeditated.

If you’re not convinced that anyone who gives these lectures is being self-indulgent instead of helpful, look at what happens if you call them on their bull****. All of a sudden they’re the ones who get angry, they’re the ones who start cursing and screaming, and they’re the ones who threaten to abandon you if you don’t instantly change – which, mark my words, they’ve already decided to do anyway. (As I’ve said, they decided to abandon you when they chose to indulge themselves in the self-indulgent lecture.)

And let’s not forget: a minute ago you were “a nice enough person”, and there was supposedly nothing wrong with you. Oh yes, and they were “only trying to help“.

The second point: you might not realise this, but the other reason why people give these self-indulgent lectures is because of projection – these people themselves feel they “need” to be in a relationship, and that there’s something inherently wrong with being single.
They have a hard time imagining life as a single person, mostly because of peer pressure or social conditioning to find “The One”. It could also be said that these people are far more concerned with what other people think of them, than what they think of themselves.

Personally, although society has turned single life into some kind of solitary confinement punishment (where other people are told to stay away from single people), I don’t see anything wrong with being single, especially if it’s out of choice. But people consciously choose whom they get involved with – so singledom is increasingly more about others’ choices in favour of or against certain kinds of people, especially when they’re complaining about ending up with “jerks”.

That’s all I really have to say about that.