Being Fat, and Getting Laid

A while ago I was asking myself a lot of questions about the kind of woman I’d end up with, if ever. Actually, the idea of going out with anybody has taken a back seat in recent times; even though I’ve [unsuccessfully] been to a speed dating event a couple of weeks ago, my mind has purely been on work and finances as of late. More on those questions later.

I don’t exactly remember how I got there, but a search on Google brought up this rather intriguing article, answering someone who asked whether they had any tips for fat guys to get laid.

It intrigued me because, right now, I often have fears of being knocked over and rolling uncontrollably down the street, or bouncing all the way across the Equator. I also was under the impression that my weight was a barrier to a highly-sexual lifestyle; when we think about a sexy masculine image, man boobs and cellulite don’t come into play. (Having been on the LighterLife diet and losing almost five stones many years ago, it proved to be irrelevant in my case.)

I am rather pleased to commend the author of this article on how they responded. You see, most articles of this nature are extremely ignorant, preachy and wishy-washy – and the comments that follow such an article would be more so. In this case, I really get the feeling that the author speaks from experience.

My take on the article is this:

There’s never a singular reason as to why someone can’t get laid, even if we’re told so. I lost five stones many years ago (and have since reverted to my old weight), but I was no more desirable than before. That could mean one of two things: either weight wasn’t the issue, or weight wasn’t the only issue.

If you’re going to go down the route of losing weight, it has to be because you want to lose weight. Fuck everybody else and what they think. If you think that losing weight is the key to getting laid, then by all means go for it. If you think that losing weight will make you happier about yourself, by all means go for it. But from my experience, because losing weight is a long and demanding process, it absolutely has to be something you want for yourself.

And again, whether you decide to lose weight or not, you have to be around people who want you to succeed in whatever you’re trying to do – and that may or may not involve attractive people. “Become socially popular” is an incredibly vague but very complicated step: it’s not just about going out to night clubs and things, because there are some people who will just choose to dislike you (and it may or may not be because of your weight).
In terms of what society calls “confidence”: nothing will make you feel better about yourself than having people who have your back. I certainly wish, when I was younger, I had a bunch of friends who had my back – but then DREWspective might not have existed.

Basically I’m an advocate of do whatever you think will help you, bearing in mind that it might not work or make a difference. Whatever it is, I hope it works out for you.

One comment in response...

  1. Alek says:

    Glad you liked the article. I just want to add that something else was my *main* point. And yes, I am talking from experience, you intuited well.

    The main point was that – don’t put off developing the lifestyle because you’re fat. The truth is that getting laid is 95% lifestyle, and 5% who you are.

    That means, sure, you can work on losing the weight or not losing the weight, but there’s no reason to put off building the LIFESTYLE.

    There are popular, fund and cool fat people with HUNDREDS of female friends out there – so we know its possible.

    So I guess my main point is to stop people from using the same excuse I used when I was overweight. I was like – I have to lose the weight before I get a life. And that’s BS…

    I could have gotten an amazing social life where I’m meeting 20 people a night even back when I was overweight, but I used the weight as an excuse.

    So again, I’m saying “Even if you believe that weight is a barrier to getting laid, its NO excuse and no barrier to getting the lifestyle”.

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