Back in December 2007, I took what’s called an AQ test (I assume it stands for “Asperger Quotient”). The test is designed to measure the likelihood of having Asperger’s Syndrome, with a score of 32 or higher being more or less affirmative.

Almost three years ago I scored 23. I took the test again a few days ago, and scored 29.

Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of autism: a condition which affects the way people who have it relate to their surroundings. It usually results in difficulty in making friends, meeting people and being able to “read” social cues.

What prompted the initial concern about having AS was the reaction I usually got from other people: that they would take offence to almost anything I said or did.

At first I thought it was some kind of fashionable trend that started in high school: that somehow everybody else was okay, but anything Drew said or did was akin to drowning a baby. And no doubt, there were some people who enjoyed playing that game. But it didn’t stop there (or even begin there): for whatever reason most people had an adverse reaction to my presence.

The first time I’d even considered AS was after a message was left by someone online, in response to one of my weblog posts. They suggested that my writing showed signs of autism, specifically Asperger’s Syndrome.

I wasn’t sure how to take it at the time. Most people are happy to stand back and point fingers, not helping the situation at all. This was the first time anyone had suggested to me directly what the situation could be. At the same time it was a shot of hope: for years I’d suspected there was something that made me different from other people, and maybe I could finally put a name to it.

It turned out that various doctors, GPs and even teachers had suspected I was autistic. I knew absolutely nothing about the diagnoses until a counsellor had gone over my medical records.
It suggests to me that – like so many people I’ve come across – they were happy to ignore it and pretend I was clinically insane.

I’m in the process of finding out once and for all if I have AS, or perhaps some other kind of autism. It took a long time for me to even find out about autism.

My first step was to do some background research on AS, which was where the Internet proved very useful (nobody was going to talk about it in person).

The next step was to set about finding out if I had AS. I have next to no faith in GPs, as they are ill-equipped to treat anything that isn’t physical; counselling was no longer an option because I would always be subjected to CBT (which to date has proved ineffective). The only option was to call the number on the site.

The person I spoke to on the phone was very understanding and professional: not once did I feel I was being talked down to or misunderstood, which already happens so often.

I was then sent an email with details of places I could go for an assessment. Unfortunately it would mean a trip outside of London: the closest place only took people under 25, and the next closest place is in Surrey.

Whether or not I actually have autism, there is no excuse anyone has for the way I’ve been treated, dismissed and ganged up on over the years. It’s the same thing as in The Cosby Show, where Theo was assumed to be stupid when he was actually dyslexic. In the age of information, not knowing (or more likely, not bothering to find out) is a cop-out.

Autism isn’t an excuse for some of the stupid things I’ve done either, and I have done some crazy things. But it would be a reason as to why I’ve done crazy things.

If we understand why something is happening, we stand a better chance of being able to deal with it. That’s why I have absolutely no respect for anyone who takes the easy way out, by joining the crowd and badmouthing anything they don’t understand.

If you’re in a similar position and want to find out more, check out http://www.autism.org.uk. Contact the National Autistic Society on 0845 070 4004.